Cameron and Nicholas Scott

I am the mother of two prem babies - both just under 32 weeks, but now aged 6 and 8. The births of Cameron and Nicholas still haunt me to this day. Today I was in the super market and a there was a sound similar to that of the monitors in the neonatal unit. I just stood there with tears in my eyes. After reading a number of stories on this web site I had a good cry.

I have always wanted to put together some simple material for prem moms, and I see your web site does just that. My children were born in South Africa, at a very good private clinic. The medical facilities were great, but there was a definite lack of advice, support etc. for us premie moms. When my second premie was born (and this pregnancy I didn't go skiing, play tennis, work etc. etc. - I just sat on the couch and relaxed and it still happened!!!) I was so better equipped to handle the situation in some respects and was able to help some other moms as well. This time it was my husband who struggled the most.

A lot of what I would recommend would be the same-
ask questions over and over until you understand the answers. doctors can be intimidating at times
- pump that milk - what a sense of achievement
- if you want to you can breast feed later
- keep a daily note and photo if possible of the progress (even though it doesn't look like progress) - it really helps on those days when you take steps backwards
- find someone to share those fears with. I hated always being told everything will be OK, when we didn't really know.

Cameron was born 4 days after my waters broke - no reason. He was so sick , ventilated for 2 weeks and then rejected food, cried continually ( we have now discovered a lot medications have no effect on him)had spinal taps etc. Today he is a highly intelligent little boy (8 going on 80) whose only problems are - low iron level, no calcium on his teeth, and AWFUL sleep problems. He was awake every 45 minutes for the first 3 years of his life. He has only slept through 4 times in 8 years.

Nicholas was born in a rush. I had just had the midwife in to discuss giving birth an coming straight home as I had had enough of hospitals for life with Cameron. That night I went into labour and he was born 2 hours later. I was angry - I thought once was enough. It took my a long time to bond with him and I feel guilty about this. But today I love him to bits. He is also very bright, excellent at sports and oh what a talker.

I would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on two issues:


- what would you have liked your friends and family to have done for you in the way of support? My friends gave me a baby shower , and though they meant well we were still in the critical stages. I remember looking at this enormous new born stuff, wondering if he would ever get to wear it.
- secondly - what do the Dads need? We focus so much on the Moms.

Thanks for the great web site and I am quite happy to support anyone through the rough and good times of premies. Just e-mail.

Irene

Written with the permission of Irene.